She looked up at me and smiled."How are the walks?" Well, they were clear an hour ago. I need to go shovel them in a couple of hours, I suspect." Naw. Just you and me for the party tonight. Let's get snowed in." There was a moment of deep sadness in her eyes - this was her favorite event of the year, and it just at that moment was taken from her. And then she smiled. Every part of her changed in that moment. And the world was good again. It was a perfect example of the essential beauty mom brought to difficult moments.With that, the entire tone in our house changed. She felt a very brief, deep moment of loss for a party she waited all year to enjoy, a party she worked intensely to make great (and it was a great party) but that could never be rescheduled or remade. Not during these precious holidays. It had taken 20 years for her to establish this party on the calendar of her friends-and-family circle. No changes were possible. Tomorrow was the Kerrigan's party, and New Year's was. “I know I’m making a fool of myself, I knew I would if I ever met you, but I have no choice now but to talk to you. I’ve wanted to since the day I first saw you, then I learned your last name was Mooreland and I stopped in my tracks. My mind didn’t though, and I thought about you a lot, even when I tried not to ... I thought about you.”I looked up at Carol, “Carol, I really appreciate you trying to help me in my business. I guess I’ve messed all that up now. I wouldn’t feel right about coming in here now ... knowing I’ve made a fool of myself like this.”“Billy,” Carol started to say something and Kasey stopped her. I just knew this was it, as for me trying to have a handy-man business, they were the only lumber supply store in the whole county.“Carol ... let me talk ... please,” Kasey said and I looked at her, her eyes were still filled with tears and I hurt for her, I remembered the times when I was a kid and felt trapped in my own messes I had made.Then she looked across at me,.
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